turing-tested:

the worst part about washing dishes is having to jack off all the silverware

sweatermuppet:

[gripping the edge of the sink with trembling hands, eyes bloodshot] i do not need to be good at the things i love to do them

clownboybebop:

holeenjoyer:

clownboybebop:

kicked out of the bdsm scene for saying “you got it, boss!” in an old timey henchman voice whenever someone tells me what to do

kicked out of the old timey henchman scene for saying “yes goddess” in a bdsm voice every time someone tells me what to do

hang on we could have something really special here

cherishedproperty:

dollfairy:

my mom called our lazy susan a sleazy susan by accident once and now I can’t call it anything else

image

Can’t let a piece of gold like that stay in the tags.

daggers-drawn:
“ datarep:
“Average from a million frames of Last Week Tonight
”
John Oliver trying to communicate through my dreams to warn me about the oncoming apocalypse.
”

daggers-drawn:

datarep:

Average from a million frames of Last Week Tonight

John Oliver trying to communicate through my dreams to warn me about the oncoming apocalypse.

searswitchboard:

i’ve asked a few people this question but i need it to reach a larger audience. was balloon boy 2009 not as big of a deal as I thought it was? I was in Chipotle with two people and  I tried to bring up balloon boy and they had no idea what i was talking about! it was so crazy!!! I had to read the entire balloon boy wiki article in the middle of a crowded Chipotle. really makes you think………… in order to exit this chipotle, you had to walk through two sets of doors, one after the other, kind of in a ‘tunnel’ set up you know. a hallway. as we were leaving, two different men held open each set of doors. ” A tunnel of politeness!” I said out loud 

c3rmendraws:

Please remember that adopting a hellhound is not just a lifelong commitment, but afterlife long commitment as well.

handweavers:

iiphiigeniialiives:

handweavers:

gloriousbodies:

handweavers:

handweavers:

mice are having sex in my walls :(

image

the mice are fucking AND now i’m getting heckled

image

@oyavaski​ i think the funniest part of this is you thinking that this is fake because…..some of us are the same age and we have normal tumblr names i guess lmao????

never thought i’d get accused of faking having a mice infestation for tumblr clout and yet here we are

you fucked those mice yourself

I fucked those mice myself

debthedemi:

orgy-of-nerdiness:

taehyungsgrowl:

feminismandmedia:

image

[image description: a tweet by user @indigenousAI saying

“fun fact: as a DV survivor i cannot register to vote because doing so makes my address public. anyone who is fleeing or hiding from an abuser is automatically disenfranchised from the political process and this is a feature, not a bug”]

I don’t know of the original poster might not be aware

but!

if you’ve been a victim of domestic violence, sexual assault, or stalking, you can enroll into the address confidentiality program (free of cost!) and be registered to vote as an absentee voter and your name and address will not be made available for the public

it is super easy to get enrolled - the application takes like 5 minutes, but it has to be with someone who is certified to do it (most likely an advocate! try going to a family justice center in your area or calling the Attorney Generals office in your area!!!!)

ALSO : 

you don’t need to have any police reports or have a protection order to qualify!!! you just have to sign stating that you’ve been a victim of one of the aforementioned crimes.

Links to the info for every state in the Wikipedia article:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Address_confidentiality_program

Reposting as Primaries and General Voting are coming up.